Lets face it. All of us have inhibitions that hold us back, whether it’s through parental upbringing, high school values, peer pressure or office politics.
As adults, most of us tend to grow up moulded and shaped by our external surroundings without being aware of it. In fact, as we reach adulthood, we will typically reflect back on our childhood and start to wonder how children are actually able to stay happy in a state of hardship.
Of course, the logical answer to this would be through parental protection and censorship from the outside world and that the reason why all of us are forced to grow up is due to the idea that we’re now responsible and can see the world in a higher and mature context.
It’s a common misconception.
Lets pose the following question…
What if the world never actually changed and that the only thing that did was our influence?
The issue with maturity and wisdom is that we’re often bombarded with outside information which ultimately influences our decisions and what we believe our true potential is.
We’re also often fooled into thinking that the things we learn are ‘matter of facts’ which can’t be broken.
We can also go a stage further and think changing can potentially cause a threat to your peers who may have up until that point, found it comfortable to see you in a certain way and refuse to see you grow.
While it’s simple to want to embark on a new challenge in order to grow, the potential pitfalls may simply be far too challenging or vast for anyone to follow due to external consequences and the fear of disapproval, which will ultimately put you back in your box.
So the issue here isn’t really in a person’s willingness to stretch themselves and reach true expert status, but in their apprehension in being judged by the outside world.
What is the box? The best way to explain this is to use examples.
Lets suppose you made a big decision to go traveling but due to family values, your family objects because they worry about you traveling to a foreign country alone.
Or you’re at a dinner table in a discussion and suddenly, you speak up with a disagreement that causes a heated debate between you and your friends/family who ultimately disagree with you.
How would you feel in those situations?
It’s definitely a tough place to be in and is what commonly makes the path to change difficult.
The biggest challenges often require big mental shifts in order to take the first grand step to growth and to ultimately find happiness.
It also requires complete self-confidence and a rock solid self-esteem in order to push forward despite the external challenges along the way.
In order to do this, we have to take a step back and analyse our current beliefs by asking ourselves the following questions…
1) What are my personal beliefs in comparison to others?
It’s likely that you may have a belief system that differs from others, which is absolutely fine. But you may feel afraid of expressing it due to fear. It’s important that you address this since fear of change isn’t really the issue, but the fear of your loved ones or your authorities not being there to support you while you are on your journey.
2) Are my beliefs more important than the people around me? If not, why not?
The reality of it is, all of us have a personal journey that is unique from others. The key to expressing this is in understanding that no one can ever truly know what’s good for you besides you. So it makes complete sense to believe in yourself with full conviction. Even if it means rejecting and disagreeing with others around you.
3) What should I do if i’m being given a hard time?
As a species, what makes us unique over other animals is in our ability to adapt within our surroundings. Therefore, as harsh as it may be, it may sometimes be necessary to find a new surrounding that is more aligned with your purpose. Maybe you need to make new friends with similar ambitions, attend seminars, join groups, or move locations. You really have more control than you think.
I truly believe that becoming an expert builds self-confidence and potential, but becoming an expert with yourself and knowing what you want is crucial. It paves your road map and gives you the courage to take action, which is what all of us are really looking for.
In my free YOU 2.0 course, I break this all down into a series of 7 short and concise videos which takes you on a step by step process from defining powerful beliefs to overcoming fear. Feel free to check it out.
What’s holding you back from your true potential? What will you do in 2013 to change that? Let us know in the comments below this post.